Summer Fun!

I always have a to do list a mile long. Laundry, edit pictures, mop the floors, trim the hedges, water plants, feed the kid, pay the bills, and on and on and on. We all have those lists right. And it dawned on me the other day that all I ever write on those to do lists is work. I plan and plan to get done all of those things. And in the process I often put off having fun! Ridiculous!

So this week Hulk and I made a to do list of all the fun things we want to do this summer. A few of them will cost some money like the zoo and swimming lessons. But the majority of them are really cheap or free and super easy for us to do. Some days we may be able to do two or three of the things of the list. Other days just one. But the whole point is by the end of the summer we should have tackled them all and had a blast in the process.

He helped me put the list together and came up with some great ideas on his own. I filled it in with stuff I enjoyed as a kid or projects I wanted to try with him. I'm looking forward to spending time on the to do list of fun and seeing what adventures the summer holds for us. I'll try to take some pictures along the way and share them with you.

What is on your to do list of fun????

Thoughts In My Head

So many thoughts in my head... And the bad part is I can't seem to do much with any of them. I'm not sleeping well and Hulk isn't sleeping well. The lack of sleep and the stress means I'm not functioning all that great. So I've resorted to living by way of post it notes. Yes indeed my house and office is now a post it note museum. It's the only way I remember anything! I feel like I did when Hulk was about 6 weeks old and I wasn't sleeping then. Post it notes got me thru that stage, hopefully they can carry me through this one.

I was trying to try all these new techniques and interventions and behavior modifications that I'm learning. But honestly we just need to stabilize. Hulk and I both are overloaded and worn out I think. So the goal now is to just get us back to status quo. We need to get back to a routine that works for us and then add in the new stuff after the meds stabilize and we rest. So my post it notes remind me to cook us something healthy, return library books, order diapers, deliver pictures, and exercise. I figure if we can just get through the daily stuff for awhile we can work on the other stuff later.

And since it's 1 in the morning I better listen to the post it note that tells me to go to bed....

Jess

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!!!

We had a wonderful Easter! We were planning on going to Tulsa to visit family. And then my Dad's aunt died so he and Cricket came to town for her funeral. While that was sad it was a great suprise to get to see them and visit!

Hulk spent time coloring easter eggs with Aunt Phyllis and I. He thought that was pretty neat. Though he did want to eat them all! He also got lots of Easter goodies from Heather and I. And he got to have two easter egg hunts. One at our house that the neighbor kids set up for him. And another with my nieces. This is the first year he has really understood how to dye eggs or hunt eggs so it was a blast.

We also made our annual Easter visit out to mom's place. I love visiting her on Easter. It's always nice to take her new spring decorations. But Easter reminds me that I will see her again fills me with hope and excitement for that day!

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter too!!!

Thanks!

Thanks to all of you for your kind words, emails, suggestions of blogs and websites to check out and just your support! I appreciate it more than you know. There is so much information out there and I'm wading through it all slowly. What I can tell you for sure is that today was the best day we have had in MONTHS!!!

For the first time in weeks Hulk was able to go with me to Wal-Mart. While this isn't a big deal to lots of people it was huge for him. We went to get flowers and he did amazing. He didn't get overwhelmed and freak out. When I had to tell him no there were no huge fits. He was SUPER! We didn't get a lot of flowers, just a few for the front yard. I'm hoping to get the back yard done in a couple weeks.

Since he did so great I told him he could pick out any type of flower he wanted. He told me he wanted the happy flowers. He pointed them out and it was marigolds. He was so "besided" to get home and get them planted. We put them in the window box that he picked and he was just so happy.

Tonight I asked him how he felt and he told me "so better". I can't imagine what it must be like for him to feel more in control of himself. It's amazing for me to watch so I bet it does feel so much better to him!

I'm so excited to see how school goes for him tomorrow! I hope he has another fabulous day.

A Confession

So I have a confession to make. I was really busy and that is a big part of why I didn't post for so long. But the main reason was because when I blog it forces me to be honest and real about the things going on in my life. And like most people when things aren't going great I would much rather pull the wool over my eyes and hide from it rather than admit there is a problem. But there was/is a big problem. You see I have an adorable amazing 3 year old boy that is in crisis.

Hulk has been struggling with lots of different things for quite some time. But for about the last 6 months things have been very rough. And for the last 6 weeks things have been downright difficult. I've tried doctors and behavior plans, therapists and prayers, and yet nothing was working. Wednesday night I found myself laying on my couch sobbing and seriously wondering if we could continue on like this. So I finally admitted it. To my sister, to my best friend, to myself. Something had to change immediately!

So Thursday and Friday was spent in much discussion with Hulk's therapist and doctor. And I finally allowed myself to really hear what they were saying and I'm allowing myself to accept the truth. My precious boy has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I stood in the doctors office with him and my Darbis and bawled as it sunk in. FAS isn't fixable and it is something I never wanted him to have! But he does and he will and luckily we are getting help. Admitting the problem is half the battle right????

So I let myself feel sorry for him and I yesterday. And this morning we started on a new positive plan. He began medication today to help with his impulsivity and constant movement. I'm still a little nervous about that but we actually ate dinner tonight and when we got done he said "wow mama no wiggles". I cried happy tears and he declared himself awesome. He is awesome! And we are going to to be awesome together.

That's the truth of it.

He Turned Three!

While I was on my 50 day leave from blogging the Hulk man turned 3! I can't believe I'm now the mother of a three year old. 3 seems old to me somehow. It's an odd age really. He isn't a baby but he isn't a big boy either. Though he does love to say "I'm a big man". But 3 is where we are now and it's an all right place to be.

He of course got some wonderful gifts and had a great time with our friends/family for his birthday. On his actually birthday our neighbors decorated the house with balloons and signs for his special day. They are so good to us!

While it was a wonderful celebration I still can't help but wonder where in the world my baby went????

50 Days

For goodness sake it has been 50 days since I've posted! That's crazy. I have so much to tell you. Well I have 50 things to tell you actually. 50 things that I should have probably posted about but well I haven't.

1. Hulk turned 3!


2. Hulk had a very awesome birthday!


3. He got some fun toys and clothes and a very cool bike from Papa and Granny.


4. Hulk still can't peddle his bike but thinks it is very fun to have me and the neighbor kids push him around on his cool bike.


5. I went to a conference in Huntsville Alabama for 5 days and left the man with my good friend Beth and her family.


6. I learned a lot but got very homesick.


7. 5 days is a long time to be away from your sidekick kidlet.


8. He had a fabulous time though.


9. While in Huntsville I went to the space and rocket museum.


10. It was pretty cool and I took some pictures of it.


11. I also took pictures of Hulk's b-day party.


12. I still haven't even downloaded the pictures.


13. I'm overwhelmed with things to do and not enough time.


14. The weather got nice and we spend all of the evening outside now.


15. This is great for burning off all the energy Hulk has.


16. This does not allow me to get things done inside.


17. The house looks a bit like a pit.


18. I'm praying for rain this weekend so I can actually stay indoors and get the house cleaned up.


19. I still haven't completely unpacked from going to Huntsville.


20. I have been home from Huntsville for a week!


21. I've been busy taking pictures for other people.


22. I've edited those pics just not my own.


23. I have Easter mini sessions this weekend.


24. Hulk wants a bunny desperately or a dog.


25. He reminds me often that we need a dog.


26. His teachers and therapist recommend a dog.


27. I'm not sure that I have the energy to keep up with a dog.


28. But I wouldn't mind having a dog either...


29. I made a really cool paint sample mosaic for my wall.


30. I took step by step pictures to share on the blog.


31. Yeah I haven't gotten those edited yet either.


32. I planted grass seed tonight in what used to be a flower bed.


33. I'm trying to simplify and turning a couple flower beds into grassy areas seemed like a good plan.


34. The dang grass better grow.


35. My house flooded again. It's the great flood of 2011!


36. My hot water heater broke and dumped gallons of hot water into the house while I was at work.


37. The same flood restoration crew that worked my flood of 2010 showed up to save the day this year.


38. I'm gonna get new carpet this time around.


39. I am also requesting a new medication for anxiety. :-)


40. You may think I'm joking but I'm not. I seriously want some happy pill that would remove all the anxiety provoking events from my life.


41. Hulk dumped an entire bottle of bath fizz tablets into the toilet. You are only supposed to put 2 in a bath tub. He put 98 in the toilet. That was a freaky fizzing colorful volcanic explosion.


42. Hulk can no longer have bath fizz tablets.


43. Hulk hates his bedroom.


44. I finally got it all decorated and adorable and he hates it.


45. He will sleep anywhere but in his room.


46. He slept in a diapers.com box in the living room one night.


47. The next he slept in the hallway.


48. Tonight he is sleeping on my bedroom floor. I don't understand it!


49. I am promising myself again that I won't go this long without blogging.


50. Don't hold your breath though. I seem to not be a very good blogger anymore....

Dinosaur Lover

Since the kidlet thought his dinosaurs needed to have their pictures taken I thought he might let me take a few pictures of him with them. He wasn't too excited about that. But he is always excited about those dinosaurs! I think you could take everything away from that child and as long as he had his dinosaurs he would be content. They really are his most prized possession! Maybe he will grow up to be a scientist. Mama's can dream right!

 

 

 

 

My Little Photographer

Hulk got ahold of my camera the other day. When I caught him laying on the floor with it I asked him what in the heck he was doing. He said his dinosaurs were smiling. He got in trouble but after he went to bed I took a look and he was actually taking pictures. In fact he got some really good pictures of his dinosaurs. I cropped one of the pictures below but other wise they are right out of the camera with no edits.

 

 

 

Things I Say

"Where did the apple go?"

"I know you ate it but where is the core?"

"What do you mean you ate it ALL???"

"Take the fly swatter out of your mouth!"

"We don't use our crayons on the TV."

"Yes green is my favorite color but not when it is all over the TV."

"I'm sorry you don't want to pick up your toys but you have to help mama."

"No I really don't think you do everything."

"Well when you work and pay the bills and cook I'll pick up the toys. Until then do it NOW."

"Oh please don't ever open the car door when I'm driving!"

"No it's not real funny."

Yep those are just a few of the things that have come out of my mouth lately.... Never a dull moment!

Confession

I have a confession to make. I'm sure I'll be judged but I don't care. I just have to be honest. I'll lay it all on the line and bare my soul. I'm brave like that! Here goes!

I absolutely HATE taking my child to church! It is the most stressful parenting experience for me and I dread it with a passion!

But one of the goals for 2011 is to do better about going. He needs to go to church. I'm blaming this on my mom. I know if my mom was alive she would make me take him. So I'm taking him. But I hate it. He is so high energy and all over the place. He can't sit still, he talks and roars, he climbs under pews, he crawls all over me, I can't hear anything, I can't look at the hymnal long enough to actually see what hymn were singing let alone sing it! I hate it! The only little bit of God I get out of church is the prayer I say over and over that I don't beat him during the service. Yeah it's not the least bit enjoyable for me.

But we are going. I keep praying it will get easier. I keep praying one day I'll look over at him in the pew and be glad I took him. Until then I'm going to grit my teeth and push forward. But next week I may drink a little before we head in for the service.

Christmas

Our Christmas was pretty darn amazing this year. Since my mom died Christmas has been painful for me. In fact every Christmas since she died I have been sick. I think the sickness is brought on as a way for me to avoid the day. While I actually really have had physical symptoms I think it's just been my way to get out of dealing with the day. But not this year! I've been praying for weeks that I would be well and that we could have a fun day. And boy was that prayer answered! It was an amazingly fun weekend!!!

 

Hulk is just the perfect age! He really understood this year and was just so much fun. From making cookies, to baking Jesus a birthday cake, to opening gifts, to playing with new toys. He was just a blast! We got to spend the whole weekend with my sister too and got lots of time with my best friend Darby and her family. It was just a very relaxing laugh filled weekend! The best Christmas that I've had in years!

 

Hulk got some really wonderful gifts. I got him an indoor trampoline, a digital camera, and some other little things, my sister got him a kitchen, my dad and cricket got him a picnic table and movies, and Monte and Kathy got him a cute chair, a fun truck, and lots of clothes and pj's. What's crazy is he seemed so excited about all of it. He has spent so much time playing with everything and having a blast.

I hope that you all had a wonderful Christmas too!

It's Cookie Time

When I was a kid my mom always made sugar cookies with me. So now that Hulk is big enough it was time to carry on the tradition. I'll be honest. I was dreading it a little. The mess, the hassle, the mess, did I mention the mess! Yeah I wasn't really looking forward to it. But I decided I had to suck it up and just do it.

 

And boy am I glad I did! We had SOOOO much fun. Seriously one of the most fun evenings we have ever had. We both laughed so hard. I was crying halfway thru from laughing at him. He kept rolling the dough so seriously and then he would just crack up and say "this is so funny mama." And it was so dang funny and fun and just wonderful!

 

There was once when I was laughing and started crying that I was a bit overwhelmed with missing my mom. The sad tears quickly turned to happy tears. This child heals my heart. Everytime we have moments like this I'm reminded of how magical the relationship is between a parent and their child. While yes I miss my mom I know she was with us tonight. Laughing a little bit too. And I hope and pray that some day in the very distant future Hulk will have a moment with his own children and know I'm still there too.

I could get a million dollars on Christmas morning and it wouldn't matter. Tonight was the best gift of all!

Almost 3

How is my baby boy almost 3 years old! It just dawned on me the other night that he is way closer to 3 than he is to 2! I think I'm going to boycott this birthday. I don't know that I want my baby to be 3!!!

 

But since he is almost 3 he is doing so many cool things lately! Things like talking in some complete sentences! Things like using the toilet more and more frequently. Things like pretending when he plays which just cracks me up! Things like attempting to negotiate with me on things. Oh he is turning into quite a boy rather than a baby!

 

Hulk is quite the mover! He is pretty much constant motion. Jumping, running, just bouncing everywhere. He really doesn't sit still for much anymore! He is also pretty smart and is doing very well at daycare/school. He is doing some occupational therapy to help with some of his sensory integration issues (hence all the moving) and just recently had a lot of testing that he did well on. He seems to get along well with his classmates and has a little bit of a crush on a little gal in his class.

Hulk all of a sudden HATES and I mean HATES having to take a bath. I don't know what that is about but I am mastering the art of the 2 minute bath with a screaming toddler. He does however love animals and really really wants a pet or ten pets. We are still negotiating that.

So almost three isn't so bad. But I do miss my little baby just a bit!

She Laughs Like My Son

As quickly as Amara arrived in our home she left. For just a brief while we were lucky to share our home with such a creative, funny, resilient, and loving child! Luckily for miss firecracker her Daddy stepped forward and is more than willing and capable of providing her with a loving and safe home! So she has moved on now.

 

Lots of people thought I was crazy for bringing her into our home, a large portion of my family included. "How would this affect Hulk?" "Could I afford it?" "What if we got hurt?" All of these questions were asked of me multiply times by multiple people.

 

And my answer was and still is "I know this doesn't make sense, it isn't a great time to add another child, there are lots and lots of unknowns. But she laughs like my son!" I don't know that anyone but an adoptive mama could really understand this. But when I heard her laugh and mistook it for Hulks laugh I knew I could not or maybe would not say no! To know that a child so very connected to my own needed a safe place to be and to say no would be unforgivable to me. Maybe others could but I could not.

 

So while her short stay was dramatic and difficult in some ways I don't regret a moment of it. Even if she never stays with us again Hulk had the chance to laugh with someone that laughs like him. And I know that is priceless!!!

Things I Say

Do not squish her!

I don't care if she likes it! You cannot jump on her head like that!

Why is there a doll in the toilet?

Hmmm I don't think the toilet is where doll's like to take baths.

Okay Hulk where is the doll's head? I've told you not to take them off!

Why are there muffins in your dresser drawer?

Please only keep food in the kitchen. We don't hide it in our drawers or the closet or anywhere else.

Making It

We made it thru our first weekend as a family of three. I was a little bit worried about two days straight alone with two toddlers but it went incredibly well. In fact in some ways it was easier having two than just having one. The kiddos really entertain one another which means I'm able to cook and do the tons of laundry they produce.

Heading to school/daycare today was a bit overwhelming for miss firecracker. She has never been to daycare before and was a little scared. She was not happy about me leaving her this morning but she ended up having a good day. It took her awhile to warm up but she had fun. And during outdoor play time she got to see Hulk so all was well. I guess they spend all their time together during playtime which is kinda sweet. Even though she is older he kind of helps her along. I wish I had taken my camera with me because this morning when she got upset before we went in the school he took her hand and said "I show you where to go. It's okay". They held hands all the way in the building. Such a sweet boy!

Okay I'm off to bed. These children wear me out!!!

Adventure

The boy is really into "adbentures" right now. Every evening after dinner he asks me "adbentures now mama?" And how can a mama say no to an adventure!?!

 

So he usually grabs a toy of some kind and I grab my camera and out we go adbenture hunting. We have a favorite place in the woods we like to go. There is a little creek and a couple bridges and lots and lots of trees. So the rule is as soon as we cross the bridge into the trees he is the boss. When we cross back over the bridge I'm the boss again. He thinks this is really cool!

So during the adventure we hunt for bugs and sticks and leaves and sometimes monsters or sunbeams or birds. And he tells me when to march or run real fast or give him a hug. And I willingly participate in the adventure game. And for 30 minutes each day that 2 year old feels like he is king of the world. He is on the hunt for something really "awesome mama" and he gets to call the shots.

 

And then as the sun begins to set we cross back over the bridge to the real world. Mama is once again the boss and the adventure game is over. And by that time my boy is usually pretty sleepy and worn out. So it never fails I end up scooping him up and hauling him halfway home.

I can't imagine any better adventure!

Day Three

Well I'm skipping the planned post for the blog challenge. I'm supposed to be talking about my first love. But honestly I don't want too. So I'm going to tell you about my kid. Because he is my biggest love! He has been saying all kinds of crazy things this week. Things like....

Mama a doo doo head! Not so nice and totally caught me off guard. So after I told him that wasn't nice I went in the other room and laughed out loud! This week he also threw a dinosaur at me. Chucked it right at me. Before I could say a word he walked over and sat in his chair in the corner and said "time out right". Yep that's right son!

He also has a new favorite music video. I'm posting it below. Just keep in mind that the entire time he watches it he copies the dance moves and head shakes. It kills me. At the end he says "I Wove My Hair Too"!



My first love has nothing on my big love. This kid makes me laugh every day! He also makes me want to pull my hair out almost every day. I think that means he is a typical 2 year old. Yep I love him. I'll keep him. And I promise I'll blog again tomorrow.

Bath Time

Dinosaurs need baths too!

At our house bathing dinosaurs is quite a big deal.

Hulk loves to wash them

and dry them

He really loves to wrap them up like burritos in my dish towels

And rock them

Just like I do with him after a bath

So if you haven't washed your dinosaurs lately

just let us know

I'll send him right over

to help you!!!