Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Dear Snow

Dear Snow-

I used to love you when I was a kid. But my love affair with you has ended since having a kid of my own. You always tease me and that causes me great pain. I look out the windows and you seem so gentle and beautiful. And then I put my coat on and my kids coat on and we venture out and in no time he is screaming about you freezing his face. So because I'm a nice mom I pick him up and let him bury his frozen face into my neck and I continue to head to the car. But snow you again tease me. You look so soft on the ground but no no you are not! You are really slippery and you make me fall into you in the driveway of the daycare so everyone can see me. The other parents see me about throw my frozen faced toddler into the street as my fat body flies about. Of course I land in the biggest pile of snow there is. My kid falls on top of me and I feel like a turtle stuck on my back in the middle of a blizzard. By the time I finally get myself out of the snow pile and get the kid in the car I'm covered in frozen bits of snow and ice, my coat wasn't fastened so my shirt is soaked and somehow snow has gotten into my bra. The kid is crying, my boobs are frozen and the radio says we are getting 4 more inches of you tonight. Yeah I'm officially over you. So dear snow please go away!

Thanks much!

1 comment:

jodilee0123 said...

I am so very sorry--but I totally cracked up at this post! LOVE IT! Not the miserable part, really, but it is truly funny. Jess--you have to come to MN and visit us and our very deep snow and now 25 below zero weather with windchill. It's lovely! ;0) Really. . . . . My kids get stuck in the back yard even after Grandma's dog paved their way. I was up to my butt in snow. I love it. . . but I was not dressed and on my way to work. Work clothes are never warm enough for snow. Work shoes suck too. Thanks for making me laugh, though. Totally cute!