Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Promise

I don't even know where to start. We went to Max's funeral today and it just breaks my heart. No parents should ever have to bury their child! It's not fair. I hate that Kelci and Kevin have ever experienced such sorrow!

But the minister today said something that stuck with me. He said that never again will Kelci and Kevin be just Kelci and Kevin. They will forever be Maxton's parents. While they will not parent him here he will be waiting for them in heaven. And that reminded me that the only reason this sorrow is so deep is because Maxton was loved so very much. He will forever be their child and will forever be loved and remembered. And God promises to reunite them someday. While I don't want this to be happening I don't know how people ever get through something like this without the promise of heaven and eternity together.

I will never understand this but I will forever understand a parent's love. It never ends. Parents love forever! On this earth or the next. Forever! And I have to believe that love is what will keep Maxton's memory alive until his parents can see him again.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Summer Fun!

I always have a to do list a mile long. Laundry, edit pictures, mop the floors, trim the hedges, water plants, feed the kid, pay the bills, and on and on and on. We all have those lists right. And it dawned on me the other day that all I ever write on those to do lists is work. I plan and plan to get done all of those things. And in the process I often put off having fun! Ridiculous!

So this week Hulk and I made a to do list of all the fun things we want to do this summer. A few of them will cost some money like the zoo and swimming lessons. But the majority of them are really cheap or free and super easy for us to do. Some days we may be able to do two or three of the things of the list. Other days just one. But the whole point is by the end of the summer we should have tackled them all and had a blast in the process.

He helped me put the list together and came up with some great ideas on his own. I filled it in with stuff I enjoyed as a kid or projects I wanted to try with him. I'm looking forward to spending time on the to do list of fun and seeing what adventures the summer holds for us. I'll try to take some pictures along the way and share them with you.

What is on your to do list of fun????

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Saturday, May 28, 2011

Sweet Max

Sweet Max passed away on Thursday. My heart breaks for Kelci and Kevin. I will never understand why some parents must experience the pain of losing a child. Heartbreaking! If you would like to visit Kelci's blog it can be found at http://thekburks.blogspot.com/ .

This has been a month filled with difficulty for so many people I care about. In the midst of Maxton's struggle a community just a few miles from me was devastated by a tornado. The small town is pretty much destroyed. To see a community in bits and pieces is overwhelming. I've donated supplies and offered to help where I can but wish I could do more. How overwhelmed they all must be.

These things just remind me how powerless we really are. It's amazing how we make plans for the future and stress about the present. When in just a moment it can literally blow away in the wind. It is a great reminder to stay in the moment and enjoy the positive things in life. Who knows when it will change...

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

May Day

Things are still a bit sad around here. Baby Max is hanging in there but there has been no improvement in his health. I continue to pray for his mom and dad and my sister and their families. I can't imagine the pain they must be feeling.

Being a mom is one of the most amazing experiences of my life and I can't imagine not having my wild man around. One of my favorite parts of parenting is getting to be a kid again myself and relive so many fun memories from my own childhood. So I thought I'd share some of our May Day pics tonight. Only 25 days after the fact!

When I was a kid my mom and I would make May Day baskets to take to Grandma and Grandpa Marks our next door neighbors. They weren't really my grandparents but that's what I called them. We would fill our basket with flowers, little candies, etc. Of course we would ring the bell, run and hide and watch from afar as they were surprised. I loved it!

So this year Hulk and I put together a little May Day bag for our neighbors. We filled it with some honeysuckle from the back yard, candy, and some cool magnets we had made.

Hulk was so excited he could hardly stand it. We ran across the street, knocked on the door, and ran back home. He wasn't to thrilled about the running back home part. He really wanted to go inside and watch them open it. But he thought the bag was pretty awesome.

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I can't wait till next year to do it again!

Sunday, May 22, 2011


You know when things are tough and you think you have it pretty bad then something happens and you realize that really isn't the case. It just puts everything in perspective and you realize that there really is always someone that has it worse that you. Well unfortunately I have been reminded of that this week.

My sister's best friend Kelci had a wonderful little boy 7 weeks ago. Max is a doll and is so darn loved. I had the opportunity to take Kelci's maternity pics and she was so very excited. She enjoyed her maternity leave at home with Max, holding him and spoiling him rotten. And then she went back to work and Max went to the sitter. And then Max quit breathing at the sitter. He was resuscitated but has substantial brain damage and can't breath on his own. His loving parents have some very tough decisions to make in the coming days.

My sister has been at the hospital with them quite a bit and their families are all there. They have a lot of support but this is devastating. I'm so proud of them all! There is no rule book for this kind of thing and no way to know how you will handle it until it happens. They are amazing people. I had the opportunity to see Max yesterday and he is just a doll! He has chubby little legs, a dimple chin, and is just adorable. I gave him a little kiss and told him how loved he was and how proud he makes his mommy and daddy.

And then I came home. And Hulk threw a massive fit and I thanked God he could scream. And today when he colored on the wall I reminded myself how lucky I am that he can see. And when he wanted to make bird feeders I said yes even though I had a lot of other things to do. Because at the end of the day the only that that matters is him. The laundry will be there tomorrow.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Yard Therapy

Something has come over me lately. It's an obsession really. My yard. I've lived in this house for 4 years. The first spring/summer I was here after my mom died all I did was lay in the pool. I paid a guy to mow the yard and then did nothing else. And then the past three spring/summers Hulk was so little it was to much of a hassle to do much with the yard. I planted a few flowers but that was about it.

But this year Hulk is big enough to entertain himself in the yard while I work or he can help me. While everything else in my life seems to be falling apart the yard is what holds me together. I feel like it is the one place I have control. I cut down tree branches and bushes. I pile them and then set them ablaze. I move rocks and build flower beds and feel like I'm laying claim to the land. I pull weeds and plant grass and obsessively water and care for it. I yell at Hulk to get out of the grass and baby it along urging it to grow.

Tonight after the yard was nicely mowed and watered I was pushing Hulk on the swings. He was laughing and the sun was starting to set. I could hear the birds and feel the breeze. And as I looked across the yard at my flowers and bright green well fertilized back yard I felt blessed. It was the first feeling of peace I've had in weeks.

Maybe the yard therapy will pay off after all....

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Tornados and Weddings

It's been a busy news week. Horrible natural disasters and a royal wedding! I have only allowed myself to read a few new stories about both. It's these times that I'm a little bit glad I don't have cable anymore. I get too caught up in watching the news and spend way to much time on it. So I've just seen snippets here and there online.

I won't lie though I did love the footage I watched of the royal wedding. It's so silly because I don't really consider myself to be a girlie girl. I was never really into the whole princess thing as a kid. But watching Kate walk down the aisle as a normal girl and then become a princess was pretty cool to me. She looked beautiful and for just a brief moment I really wanted to be a princess too!!!