Tuesday, May 31, 2011
But the minister today said something that stuck with me. He said that never again will Kelci and Kevin be just Kelci and Kevin. They will forever be Maxton's parents. While they will not parent him here he will be waiting for them in heaven. And that reminded me that the only reason this sorrow is so deep is because Maxton was loved so very much. He will forever be their child and will forever be loved and remembered. And God promises to reunite them someday. While I don't want this to be happening I don't know how people ever get through something like this without the promise of heaven and eternity together.
I will never understand this but I will forever understand a parent's love. It never ends. Parents love forever! On this earth or the next. Forever! And I have to believe that love is what will keep Maxton's memory alive until his parents can see him again.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
This has been a month filled with difficulty for so many people I care about. In the midst of Maxton's struggle a community just a few miles from me was devastated by a tornado. The small town is pretty much destroyed. To see a community in bits and pieces is overwhelming. I've donated supplies and offered to help where I can but wish I could do more. How overwhelmed they all must be.
These things just remind me how powerless we really are. It's amazing how we make plans for the future and stress about the present. When in just a moment it can literally blow away in the wind. It is a great reminder to stay in the moment and enjoy the positive things in life. Who knows when it will change...
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
surprised. I loved it!
Hulk was so excited he could hardly stand it. We ran across the street, knocked on the door, and ran back home. He wasn't to thrilled about the running back home part. He really wanted to go inside and watch them open it. But he thought the bag was pretty awesome.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
My sister's best friend Kelci had a wonderful little boy 7 weeks ago. Max is a doll and is so darn loved. I had the opportunity to take Kelci's maternity pics and she was so very excited. She enjoyed her maternity leave at home with Max, holding him and spoiling him rotten. And then she went back to work and Max went to the sitter. And then Max quit breathing at the sitter. He was resuscitated but has substantial brain damage and can't breath on his own. His loving parents have some very tough decisions to make in the coming days.
My sister has been at the hospital with them quite a bit and their families are all there. They have a lot of support but this is devastating. I'm so proud of them all! There is no rule book for this kind of thing and no way to know how you will handle it until it happens. They are amazing people. I had the opportunity to see Max yesterday and he is just a doll! He has chubby little legs, a dimple chin, and is just adorable. I gave him a little kiss and told him how loved he was and how proud he makes his mommy and daddy.
And then I came home. And Hulk threw a massive fit and I thanked God he could scream. And today when he colored on the wall I reminded myself how lucky I am that he can see. And when he wanted to make bird feeders I said yes even though I had a lot of other things to do. Because at the end of the day the only that that matters is him. The laundry will be there tomorrow.
Monday, May 16, 2011
But this year Hulk is big enough to entertain himself in the yard while I work or he can help me. While everything else in my life seems to be falling apart the yard is what holds me together. I feel like it is the one place I have control. I cut down tree branches and bushes. I pile them and then set them ablaze. I move rocks and build flower beds and feel like I'm laying claim to the land. I pull weeds and plant grass and obsessively water and care for it. I yell at Hulk to get out of the grass and baby it along urging it to grow.
Tonight after the yard was nicely mowed and watered I was pushing Hulk on the swings. He was laughing and the sun was starting to set. I could hear the birds and feel the breeze. And as I looked across the yard at my flowers and bright green well fertilized back yard I felt blessed. It was the first feeling of peace I've had in weeks.
Maybe the yard therapy will pay off after all....
Sunday, May 1, 2011
I won't lie though I did love the footage I watched of the royal wedding. It's so silly because I don't really consider myself to be a girlie girl. I was never really into the whole princess thing as a kid. But watching Kate walk down the aisle as a normal girl and then become a princess was pretty cool to me. She looked beautiful and for just a brief moment I really wanted to be a princess too!!!