She Laughs Like My Son

As quickly as Amara arrived in our home she left. For just a brief while we were lucky to share our home with such a creative, funny, resilient, and loving child! Luckily for miss firecracker her Daddy stepped forward and is more than willing and capable of providing her with a loving and safe home! So she has moved on now.

 

Lots of people thought I was crazy for bringing her into our home, a large portion of my family included. "How would this affect Hulk?" "Could I afford it?" "What if we got hurt?" All of these questions were asked of me multiply times by multiple people.

 

And my answer was and still is "I know this doesn't make sense, it isn't a great time to add another child, there are lots and lots of unknowns. But she laughs like my son!" I don't know that anyone but an adoptive mama could really understand this. But when I heard her laugh and mistook it for Hulks laugh I knew I could not or maybe would not say no! To know that a child so very connected to my own needed a safe place to be and to say no would be unforgivable to me. Maybe others could but I could not.

 

So while her short stay was dramatic and difficult in some ways I don't regret a moment of it. Even if she never stays with us again Hulk had the chance to laugh with someone that laughs like him. And I know that is priceless!!!

Then There Were Two

Hulk has a biological sister that is 13 months older than he is. Her name is Amara but I'll probably be calling her Firecracker on the blog. Anyways Amara is now staying with us for a bit. Her mama is having some problems right now so we are happy to give her a nice place to stay for a bit. She has an hilarious personality, a ton of energy and a lot of love to share. She and Sylas have hit it off and spend the majority of the day laughing. I'm learning all about "girlie" things and have even allowed pink into the house. Today I found a boa feather on the floor and tripped over a pair of play high heels so I think there is a girl officially in the house! This has been a whirlwind adventure and I'm sure it will continue to be so. I just keep praying for guidance and keep taking it a day at a time.

Our Adoption Day

July 10th is adoption day at our house. 30 years ago on July 10th my parents adopted me. And 2 years ago on July 10th Hulk's adoption was finalized. So it is our special family day. I wanted to do something special that day as a way to start our traditions. My mom used to do special things for me on that day and I would like to carry that on.

So I decided that this year I would take Hulk to the bigger city and go to a park there that has a carousel and train for kids to ride and some cool flower gardens. I started planning a couple weeks ago and I was super excited. In my mind it would be a wonderful day. The weather would be nice. We would ride the rides and he would LOVE them. He would laugh lots and maybe glance over at me as the carousel turned round and round and we would have a mother child moment I could remember for a lifetime. In my mind I would also be able to take some beautiful pictures of him in the rock and flower gardens there. Oh the vision I had in my mind!

So Saturday morning we were up and ready to go. Hulk woke up in an amazing mood and was super funny while we were getting ready. I even had some good hair going on. Things were looking great. We hopped in the car for our hour long drive to the bigger city and all seemed well. 20 minutes outside of the city though Hulk fell asleep. And then he woke up when I parked the car. He woke up poorly!

He was somewhat disoriented so I thought well we will walk around the park while he wakes up and look at the flowers etc. Well no sooner were we out of the car and he saw the carousel and wanted to ride. So we rode and he did love it. He loved it so much in fact that he wanted to ride it again right away. I convinced him to try the play ground toys which he did for about two minutes before beelining back to the carousel. So we rode it again. This time he was not loving it as much. He still seemed disoriented and sleepy. When we got off we watched the train go by and I told him we could go ride it. We heading for the parking lot to go to the other side of the park and all hell broke lose.

He began to throw a fit of epic proportions. I mean it was the grand champion of all fits! I tried to pick him up off the asphalt and he was going so insane I could hardly hold on to him. Kicking, screaming, hitting, more screaming. I got him to the car and tried to put him in his seat and he was fighting me so hard I couldn't get him in the car seat. After ten minutes of trying that I just closed the door and thought he could cry it out. I went to the front and started the car so he would have a/c during the epic disaster and as I got back out security was there. They thought I was KIDNAPPING him! At this point he is banging on the windows, screaming, crying, snot running down his face, ugly cry. I convince security this mess of a child is mine and they leave. I try to talk to him and explain that we can't go ride the train until he gets in his seat. Nothing works. So I decide to wait him out and ignore the fit.

48 minutes later I got him in his seat. Needless to say we did not ride anymore rides or visit the flowers and the only pictures I got were the ones I posted to this post. We went to my Aunts house and then to lunch and he did well. Thank God. But definitely not the day I had planned. They never are right?!? We got home that night and read stories and cuddled and sang row row your boat about 800 times. And that was good enough for me. Epic fit, yes. Good adoption day, yes. I wouldn't trade that fit throwing, embarrassing his mama in public kid for anything.

What Were They Thinking

Not that long ago I wrote this post about illegal adoptions. I was angry that anyone would attempt to damage the international adoption process. People probably think I'm crazy for getting so wrapped up in this but it's an issue that means more to me than anyone could probably know. Adoption is a serious topic for me! So unfortunately you get to hear another rant from mama bear!

Friday a family from the United States put their 7 year old child on an airplane with a note and sent him back to Russia. According to the family he was violent and threatening to kill the family. So they sent him back!?! There are so many things wrong with this situation that I could scream. So let's just dive in.

1. The child probably was having violent behaviors and difficulties adjusting. When you adopt older children your agency educates you on the possibility of this occurring. Older children have often been abused or neglected while waiting for their forever family. They have often experienced treatment worse than we could imagine. So psychological problems should be expected and their should be a plan in place to address them.

2. If a family wants an adoption dissolved it is not something to be taken lightly. I'm not saying this family took that decision lightly it just appears that they did not follow the proper channels to make that occur. They should have been in contact with their home agency. Through that agency they could have accessed mental health support, respite care, and even found another adoptive family if all attempts to save their family failed.

3. Who the hell puts a 7 year old on an international flight ALONE! The family has said that a stewardess was watching him and that they paid someone $200 to transport him when they got to Russia. Seriously!?! Okay a stewardess can't watch a child all the time. And paying someone to transport him that you found over the internet is so unsafe. What if it was a predator or the person you actually paid to drive the child sold him into child slavery (yes this is happening all the time!).

4. Making poor choices like this can bring ALL international adoptions to a halt. This one family put their emotions and desires ahead of thousands of other families and children. When you adopt a child you are automatically in the "adoption club". It doesn't mean you have to be a perfect parent but it means you have to be responsible and represent the adoption process well. That one very poor choice could have incredibly damaging affects on so many families and that makes me very very angry!

So to summarize. If you adopt an older child they could have problems, if you can't handle the problems get some help, if that doesn't work follow the appropriate channels for getting your child help or a new family. At no point in time should you put your child on a plane alone with a note and send them back to Russia or any other country. If you do some you will be branded by me the DUMBEST ADOPTIVE FAMILY EVER!!!!

Got it?

The Blessing

My little man is still not feeling great. He does well during the day but as darkness comes he get worse. So very typical though isn't it. Everything is worse at night. So sleep has not been coming easy for him or I either one. Tonight he went down pretty easily but was up within a hour and was just pretty upset. So I laid him in my bed so we could snuggle and read while he tried to relax. In no time at all he was back to sleep.

While I should have gotten up and folded the laundry, or edited pictures, or done a million other things I stayed laying beside him. Just watching him. And in that moment I was reminded of how much I'm going to miss this. Not the sick part but the snuggly little boy part. I'm going to miss this time where a hug and song from his mama fixes everything. I know that in no time at all he will be big and life's problems will be hard. And I won't be able to fix it all for him. So since I know I'm going to miss it I stayed beside him for awhile longer tonight and enjoyed the perfection of him.

He is my blessing. It's hard to believe that almost 2 years has passed since he came home to me. How different my world is. I could have had other babies but God sent me this blessing, this special boy. And as I watched him tonight I was once again overwhelmed at the perfection of us together. We were meant to be. Some people think of soul mates in a romantic way but I firmly believe that his soul and mine were meant to be joined in this world. I know that God designed us for one another. And that is such a blessing to me. To know that out of the whole world God pieced the two of us together after such a long broken difficult journey through adoption is breathtaking to me. We were meant to be in every way.

So I'm gonna take every snuggle I can get and try my hardest to never forget that this little boy and I are pretty darn blessed to have one another.

Adoption Issues

I'm sure most of you have heard the news about "missionaries" and I use that term lightly that went to Haiti to "save children" again used lightly and have now been charged with trying to take the children out of the country illegally. Ugh I could just scream about this! In fact I think I did yell at the radio a bit this morning while listening to the news reports.

While I am a huge advocate for adoption I'm a bigger advocate for families and responsible adoptions! I am sure that these people thought they were helping or saving children but their poor decision making can bring all adoptions from Haiti to a standstill. There are many legitimate adoptions pending in Haiti but all of that can be stopped by the poor choices of a few individuals.

I'm also so very frustrated by the idea that adoptions are "saving" children. While coming to America may provide children with food and shelter is it really saving them. If they are just temporarily seperated from their parents or they have relatives that could care for them in their country that would be in their best interest. I know I personally would rather go hungry or live in poverty then be seperated from my family. Adoptions don't save children that have families. Adoptions should only move forward when other options have been investigated and all adoption laws have been followed.

And while I'm ranting about this I just have to say who are we as a country to assume it is our job to "save" children. How arrogant are we? If something horrible happened in this country and you were seperated from your children how happy would you be that someone from another country came and took your kids to "save" them. The best way to "save" children is to help their families reconnect, rebuild, and recovery from the tragedy.

Okay enough of that. I just strongly believe that adoption is too important to sit by and watch as people make poor choices that can affect legal adoptions for years to come. The children's best interests must always be considered.

Adoption Scams

If you have ever ventured into the world of adoption you know there are some adoption con artisits out there. Sick people willing to prey on folks that are desperate for children. This is just another example of one of those people. Luckily this bad guy is behind bars now. But always be careful during the adoption process. And if you have ever had contact with the guy in this video or given him any money make sure you contact the authorities.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Clickin Mama

The Hulk Is In the Paper

*** Update ***

Since I posted I actually got a hard copy (okay 10) of the paper and The Hulk is actually on the front page! I'm so thrilled that an adoption story got the front page! Even better yet that it happens to be our adoption story! So fun!

*** Original Post ***

Today the newspaper ran the story about The Hulk's adoption! I am really very pleased with the article and I am so very thankful to the Emporia Gazette and Brandy Nance for taking the time to share a positive adoption story! To view the story just click here. The online edition doesn't have the pictures but you all know how cute The Hulk is anyways!

Clickin Mama

Exciting Times

Things are rather exciting around here this week. That's a nice change from the same old routine we have been in for awhile. So what is exciting us you ask. How about The Hulk being a little bit of a celebrity! Tonight the local paper came to do an interview all about The Hulk and his adoption story! He is going to be the face of adoption in our community since it is National Adoption Month!!! I'm so excited for him. I think this will be something awesome to add to his baby book for him to look back on. It's so nice to be able to share a positive adoption story with the community. We had a lot of fun tonight with the reporter and photographer so I can't wait to see what the story is like and what pictures they use of him. He was quite the charmer and on best behavior. He is such a great kid!

And wedding stuff is happening this weekend! My sister Heather is the maid of honor for her best friend Kelci on Saturday. And I'm taking pictures. So we have had a busy week of last minute planning and packing and a little bit of panic. But we are really excited! Not only will the wedding be a blast but we get to take a 3 hour roadtrip to get to her hometown where the wedding will be held. We haven't been out of town since the 4th of July! I don't even care that we are going to a little town in Western Kansas!!! Can you say VACATION!!!!

So that's what I know around here. Exciting times, happy times, heck just a change in time!

Clickin Mama

Adoption Month

Today is the first day of National Adoption Month! I know it will suprise you but celebrating adoption is one of my favorite things to do! I hope you all will join me in celebrating and advocating for adoption this month! Here are some easy and fun things that you can do this month to celebrate adoption.

Donate a book about adoption to your local library, school, church, or daycare.

Visit Adopt US Kids and encourage your friends and family members to do so also. There are approximatly 129,000 children waiting to be adopted in the United States. You don't have to be perfect to be a parent. Please consider adopting an older child.

Donate money or time to an adoption agency in your area. Or just send a card of thanks or a basket of goodies to an adoption social worker you know. They will appreciate it!

Share your own adoption story in your community. Sharing about positive adoption stories is important and gives waiting children and families hope.

Let's try to make sure that every child has a home. Advocate for adoption today and everyday!

Clickin Mama

Questions and Answers

I've been telling you all forever that I was working on a Q and A post from your emails and comments. And I have been working on it however I didn't tell you I was working very slowly. It's been in draft for weeks but I think I have crammed enough questions into one post so here you go. Of course if you have other questions for me leave them in the comments or email me and I'll answer them slowly but I will.

Did you try adoptive nursing with The Hulk or only do bottle feeding?

The Hulk was completely bottle fed and that worked for us. I really wanted to try adoptive nursing and maybe in the future I will. But The Hulk' adoption came as such a surprise that I didn't' really have enough notice to start on the necessary medication. Maybe I'll have this opportunity with adoption number 2.

You don't talk about your parents much, are they involved in your life?

My mom died September 2, 2006. Prior to that she was very involved in my life. I have a whole section of my blog labeled mom that talks about her or my issues surrounding her death. You can also visit my old blog
Hunna's Happenings for more about my mama.

My dad and step mom don't live close by so we don't get to see them often. We do talk on the phone regularly and visit when we can. I wish they lived closer (hint hint) but right now that just isn't an option.

Who helps you with The Hulk since he doesn't have a dad?

I'm lucky to have the people in my life that I do. My best friend Darby and her wonderful husband Chris are my biggest supporters locally. They are the ones that help with The Hulk the most. They keep him when I have to travel and help me out a lot when I'm in a bind with daycare or just life. They are his God Parents and I wouldn't have it any other way! If I can't be with The Hulk I prefer that he is with them or my sister.

My sister Heather is also a big help with The Hulk. Though she lives out of town she comes home a couple times a month to visit and hang out. She is a great help and a huge support! The Hulk adores Aunt Heather and she is so much fun to have around.

What do you feed The Hulk for snacks?

I honestly treat The Hulk' snack time like I do mealtimes. I try to avoid giving him packaged "snack type foods". We do lots of fruit, veggies, and beans. He loves my snack mix that I make using dried fruit and fiber one cereal. When we are out and about and it's time for a snack I try to have dried fruit with us. He does love cheese crackers and goldfish so he gets those from time to time. He also loves graham crackers so sometimes I let him have those with a little bit of apple butter on them. Delicious!

Did you get your financial situation straightened out?

Ugh yes and no. I'm out of serious danger right now but I'm not comfortable at all with our financial situation. I don't like debt, I don't like not having enough in savings, I don't like not knowing where the money is coming from and when. So I'm not comfortable right now. But I have a plan. I have a huge garage sale coming up. I also have some big items to sell on Craigslist or Ebay and I have a couple big photo sessions coming up. I'm also trying to get some different plan arranged in regards to my student loans. Right now one whole paycheck a month is going towards student loans that that just isn't working... So hopefully that will help me to feel a little more comfortable. However, winning the lottery sounds great too!

So that's what I've got answered so far. I of course have more to answer but I will conquer those another day.

Clickin Mama

Where Is She

I rarely post about Katie, The Hulk' first mom. Not because she isn't a part of our lives but because I am hesitant to share that story. I never want to put words in The Hulk' mouth or Katie's about their adoption story. I can only tell my version or my story. But Katie is such a large part of our lives while also being absent from them. Not a day goes by that she doesn't cross my mind or stir in my heart. When The Hulk laughs or snuggles into me close I can't help but have her in my mind. How can you not think of the woman that gave you such a sweet child.

We also talk about Katie a lot. I have pictures of her displayed in the house. I want The Hulk to recognize her and know her. I want him to know what a strong and special woman she is. But lately we haven't actually talked to Katie. In fact I don't know where she is. And that weighs very heavy on my heart. I know she is struggling, has been struggling with things I won't go into here. But we have always been able to track her down and touch base. But it's been almost 8 weeks now with no contact. All of my usual resources for finding her haven't worked and I won't lie I'm worried about her.

It's strange to feel so connected to someone yet not know where they are. I pray that Katie will find us again soon. Reconnect and let us know she is okay. I miss her, I worry about her, and I need her in a way few others can understand. So if you have the time to say a little prayer for our Katie please do. We just want her to be safe and happy and healthy. Oh and we want her to come hang out again soon!

Clickin Mama

Eat A Frosty-Support Adoption

Dave Thomas the founder of Wendy's was a huge adoption supporter. In fact the Dave Thomas Foundation is committed to finding adoptive families for the thousands of U.S children in foster care today. This is one of my favorite adoption organizations!

Over Father's Day Weekend (June 20-21) if you buy any frosty item at Wendy's .50 of your purchase goes to the Dave Thomas Foundation. How cool is that. Eating ice cream for a good cause! That's my kind of charity work!

So treat your Dad, treat yourself, and treat the kids waiting for families. Go buy a frosty and enjoy!!!

Clickin Mama

Adopting Again...

Today the social worker from our adoption agency came out to visit. They needed to do our one year follow up visit. And we needed to talk about adoption #2! This is something I've been struggling with so much. When to move forward with the next adoption. But I feel much better after our meeting today.

I was clear with her about where I'm at financially (that's a big piece). I could afford raising two kids now but I'm not prepared yet for the huge adoption fees. I need some time to get my savings built back up. She totally understood that. I did let her know though that if the agency wanted to waive the fees I would be willing to move forward today. She didn't think they would be able to do that. Shocking right!

I was also really clear about where I'm at with the idea of adding a second baby to the mix. The Hulk and I are a good team and it seems a little to early for me to mix it up with another little one. And while The Hulk doesn't have major medical problems I really want to get the whole asthma thing stabilized before I add another in too. We are still fighting with finding the right med combo and I'm still doing treatments every 4 hours. I would just like to make sure he is completely on track before I push forward. The medical stuff is a huge financial piece too. His hospital stay was some bucks!

So after we talked all that out we agreed that we would meet again in December to start on paperwork and creating my profile and working on the home study. By the time all that was ready it would be January/February. She does think that I will match quickly this time around. When I told her I was counting on about a year again she laughed at me and said she would guess 6 months. I guess families are matching quickly right now.

I did at one point have her laughing so hard at me that I thought she was going to pee her pants. The pathetic part was I didn't even mean to make her laugh. We were filling out the profile paperwork and she asked me what races I was open to. I told her that I was open to anything but a white baby. She just looked at me and started laughing! I guess that is an odd answer. I just can't imagine having a white baby now. Nothing against any white babies out there. I love my nieces and they are white. It's just when I think of my family I think of me and my non white children. So that's just us. She can laugh all she wants but it makes sense to me....

So that's the deal... adoption wise!

Clickin Mama

One Year

Today marks one year that The Hulk has officially been my son. It was one year ago today that the paperwork was signed and I brought my baby boy home! What an amazing journey. I remember that drive home from Kansas City alone with that little boy. I was terrified, ecstatic, emotional, and overwhelmed. I remember how amazing it felt to pull into my drive way and carry my son in the door for the first time! What an amazing feeling. In fact here is the picture that Darby captured of that moment....



Here is a picture of The Hulk and I at his birthday party this weekend. Oh my how he has grown! How we have bonded and changed together. I can't imagine my life without him! He really is the best gift I've ever been given!



So little prince thank you for a wonderful first year as your mommy! I can't wait to see what our next year together brings!

Randomness

I'm feeling totally random today. There are too many thoughts in my head for a very focused post... So you get to try to follow along with the radomness of me...

I've been thinking a lot about our recent hospital stay. I've been playing things over in my mind and I am just amazed at how well it all went. I know that sounds crazy but I've heard such horror stories about kids and hospital visits that I really thought it would be worse. In fact I had several horrible hospital stays with my mom when she was sick. But honestly we got such amazing care and met some really great people. I hate it that The Hulk was that sick but I'm so grateful that it was a positive experience rather than a traumatic one. Honestly a lot of good came out of it. Not only did The Hulk get better but we were able to share our adoption story with so many people. Almost every nurse that came in asked about how I adopted him, if it was an open adoption, etc. It was so nice to share our story and hopefully display such a positive adoption situation. So often single parent and transracial adoptions get bad press so it was a real blessing to share with them.

Also looking back now it was pretty amazing to me that when we were doing the admit process and they were asking a million and one questions about The Hulk that I knew all the answers. And it hit me then. He really is my son! I know in my head and heart that he is mine but it really made it dawn on me that I am honestly the only person in the whole world that knows all the answers about The Hulk. No one else can say that! Heather can come close, Darby can come close, Shawn and Amanda can come close. But I am the only one that gets them all right! How cool is that? And I was worried that baby wouldn't bond to me! We are pretty dang bonded!

Speaking of bonded The Hulk now calls me MaMa! I love that. He started doing it in the hospital and it has stuck! I love love love it! He also says no no no regularly too! Crazy kid! When I tried to change his diaper this morning I got a mama no no. Nice! He is already sassy.

And since I am so random I must tell you that today I was heading into my office and noticed a guy walking a large group of dogs. There were five of them total. And it seemed odd. Not so much the number of dogs but how weird they were all walking. So I stopped and watched as they came closer and realized it. All the dogs had something wrong with them. A couple only had three legs. One of them had four legs but one of them didn't work. Another one had something wrong with it's ear. Strange combo of dogs. But then I realized it. That guy is open to special needs dog adoption. How sweet is that!

Also last night I made sweet and sour chicken in the crockpot. It was yummy. After dinner I filled the crockpot with water and dishsoap to let it soak and was going to wash it this morning. But this morning when I came into the kitchen some crazy things were going on. The crock pot had water and lots and lots of bubbles pouring out of it! I couldn't figure out how this could have happened. But I actually left the crock pot on by accident and the water was boiling bubbles! Super!

So that's the radomness of me.... Also I'm working on a Q & A post. I have about 4 questions to do that people have emailed me. If you have any questions for me leave them in the comments and I'll add them in. Feel free to ask anything....

Clickin Mama

Adoption Thoughts

With The Hulk' birthday looming just a month away I've been pondering my second adoption more and more. It doesn't help that the adoption agency keeps calling me with possible matches. Yes they call frequently. I keep track of their calls for some reason. I don't know why but I do this. So today's call made 17 calls since The Hulk came home. How crazy is that. I waited a year for The Hulk! I had three failed adoptions! And now that I have a baby the calls keep coming. Funny how that works.

Anyway today the social worker called to let me know about a situation with a baby due in two months. We talked about that and I let her know that I needed to wait awhile longer. She understood that but asked when I thought I would be ready. I was honest and told her I really didn't know. We have a meeting set up for next week so I told her I would try to have some answers then. It is our 1 year follow up meeting! Basically she will come out the house to visit The Hulk and I. I even heard a rumor that he and I get a present... I wonder what it will be?

I always said I'd go back on the waiting list when The Hulk was a year old. But now that I have him and he is getting to such a fun age I really just want to enjoy him. Something happened when I took him to the beach in Texas over Christmas. It was so fun to do that with him. The way he laughed made my heart so happy. And it makes me want to do more things with him. The older he gets the more fun he gets. And to be honest I don't know how much traveling I'd be able to do with him if I had a newborn too. So I think I should wait and have some fun with him as a single and then add a second one in.

Also I still need to do some money saving. My new job doesn't offer a paid maternity leave. So I need to replenish the savings from the jobless fiasco to cover my maternity leave as well as the expenses for the adoption. I have the majority of adoption number 2 paid for. I will just have to come up with the $8500.00 for the placement fee and the $1500.00 for the attorney's fees. So not much. Just 10 grand! Ridiculous right!

So now that I've typed that out it's pretty obvious I need to not go on the list for awhile. I think now that waiting till The Hulk is 2 would be good. If it takes another year to match like it did with him then he would be 3 and that seems like a good spread for kids.... Doesn't it?

Is He Your Baby?

"Is he your baby?"

"Is that your son?"

"He must look like his father."

"What a cute boy, I bet he looks just like his daddy."

"Who is his Dad?"

"Did you adopt him?"

These are just a few of the questions that I get asked when The Hulk and I are out and about. Awfully personal questions don't ya think? Questions I figured we would get asked occasionally but questions that I dread. Questions that can stop me dead in my tracks and make my stomach turn. Questions that can at times push me to the brink and make me want to scream. Questions that leave me wondering how in the heck to answer them.

Without a doubt The Hulk is my baby. He is my "real" child in every sense of word. I really am the one that can stop the tears, fix the food, do the bed time routine and give the best snuggles. He really is the one boy that can melt my heart and motivate me to be the best person I can be for him. We really are bonded and attached in a way that I can't always describe with words. There is a depth to our relationship that I have only known with two other people in my life, my own mom and my sister.

And yes The Hulk was adopted. I adopted The Hulk in July. There was a court hearing that legalized the act of adoption. However, he is not my adopted son. He is just my son. The adoption was an event it does not define our relationship. He is in no way less real than a child I birthed myself. The process of adopting a child was like a very long pregnancy and that last court hearing was my labor. He is mine and I was blessed that adoption is how he came to me. But I don't define our relationship in terms of that event.

And as far as his father I think he does have one. I think he has a heavenly father. The father that brought him to me and the father that will forever guide his life. Does he have an active Dad in his life. No he doesn't but his relationship with his heavenly father is more powerful and deeper than any earthly relationship could ever be. I may not be able to give him an earthly father but I will forever attempt to build and strengthen his relationship with the one father that really matters.

So those are the answers in my head and in my heart. But those answers are hard to give in grocery stores and gas stations. So I've started coming up with some quick answers to deter people from asking personal questions in the future. Here are my favorite inappropriate responses.

"Is he your baby/is he your son?" Sometimes I say no I just found him on the curb and other times I say no is he your baby? That always stops them dead in their tracks.

"He must look like his dad/who is his dad?" To this I use the response of I'm not sure, I don't remember that night very well. If a man is asking the who is his dad question though I have found that saying don't act like you don't know, I have been waiting for you to claim him for months now works well to get them to walk off.

"Did you adopt him?" I have several responses for this one. I enjoy the no I just picked him up at the cabbage patch response the best though.

While I joke and I'm a bit inappropriate at times I know in my heart that The Hulk was meant to be mine. He is meant to be my son. What other little boy could make my heart so happy and my laugh so loud....



I know lots of you that read this blog have adopted your children. What do you say when people ask personal questions?

Random Picture Challenge 5.0

This weeks Random Picture Challenge is to pull from your March 2008 picture file. You pick the picture that is 5th from the end of the folder. Well I'm thrilled to present this picture!!!!



This picture is of The Hulk, his birth mom Katie, and I the day that I adopted him! It was taken by Katie's mom just shortly after all the paperwork was signed and not long before we left the hospital. It is one of my all time favorite pictures! In fact it is framed and in The Hulk' room. I think it really shows how much both of his mom's love him and how much we care for each other. It's a mutual respect really and a bond that few people get to share with one another. So this picture really represents the true blessing of adoption in my life! Okay enough mush! Go enjoy the rest of the challenge participants posts!

Clickin Mama

Adoption Raffle

Okay we all know what a fan I am of adoption! And we also know what a fan I am of photography. Actually that's two of my most favorite things!!!! So here is a wonderful combination I've got to tell you about. It's Claire's Super Huge Adoption Raffle-Raiser! A wonderful family is adopting a baby girl from Korea. And to help with some of the adoption expenses (Lord I remember the expenses!) they have created this awesome Raffle. When you purchase a raffle ticket you are entered to win one awesome awesome photography package. You can win a Cannon Digital Rebel and all kinds of goodies to go with it. So go visit the raffle by clicking right here and help bring baby girl Claire home! And if you win the camera you have to let me know! I'll make a post for you and brag about the big winnings on my site to bring you some extra traffic!

Clickin Mama