Something has come over me lately. It's an obsession really. My yard. I've lived in this house for 4 years. The first spring/summer I was here after my mom died all I did was lay in the pool. I paid a guy to mow the yard and then did nothing else. And then the past three spring/summers Hulk was so little it was to much of a hassle to do much with the yard. I planted a few flowers but that was about it.
But this year Hulk is big enough to entertain himself in the yard while I work or he can help me. While everything else in my life seems to be falling apart the yard is what holds me together. I feel like it is the one place I have control. I cut down tree branches and bushes. I pile them and then set them ablaze. I move rocks and build flower beds and feel like I'm laying claim to the land. I pull weeds and plant grass and obsessively water and care for it. I yell at Hulk to get out of the grass and baby it along urging it to grow.
Tonight after the yard was nicely mowed and watered I was pushing Hulk on the swings. He was laughing and the sun was starting to set. I could hear the birds and feel the breeze. And as I looked across the yard at my flowers and bright green well fertilized back yard I felt blessed. It was the first feeling of peace I've had in weeks.
Maybe the yard therapy will pay off after all....