The past few days have been so strange. Things have happened here that I never would have imagined even in my wildest dreams. Things that I shouldn't tell anyone. I should keep them a secret. But I'm not going to. What can I say. I'm a glutton for punishment. I don't mind sharing the strangeness of my life. So here are just a few of the things that I've done that I never thought I would ever ever do.
1. I willingly allowed a baby to get in my bed that was thowing up and pooping like a crazy person. I'm not talking spit up people. Oh no. I'm talking real stinky disgusting throw up! I actually wanted said baby to sleep with me because he was scaring me in his room alone! I welcomed this creature into my bed!
2. I awoke to this baby playing with my hair, pulling it and laughing. I thought he must be all better. But no he was laughing because it must be very funny to try to pull throw up out of someone's hair in the morning.
3. And the warm feeling that I felt on my stomach was not the sun shining through the bedroom window. No that warmth came from the poop that had poured out of the diaper and soaked through his pj bottoms and my t-shirt. Nice!
4. Have you ever tried to shower and get poop and puke off of you while also trying to hold a 25 pound child and get the same gross things out of his fro? If not I wouldn't recommend it. Not a fun experience. Trust me no amount of herbal essence shampoo makes that a relaxing event!
5. Who knew that 2 cans of Lysol and a bottle of bleach would make for a fun Saturday! It used to be a couple bottles of beer and some Jack Daniels. Now cleaning toys, bedding, and well anything a child may touch makes up my weekend!
6. A person really can do 9 loads of laundry in one day and still manage to have clothes that are covered in poop! Explain that!
7. I really can catch vomit in my hands and not mind! I would rather have it on me than on one more stupid outfit! It's easier to wash my hands than it is to get throw up out of an afro puff!
8. The wildest thing of all is that my mom was right. When it's your kid it is different. I didn't gag once during the whole ordeal. I didn't cry. I didn't want to sell him to a gypsy. I just wanted him to get better. Heck I might even let him sleep with me again tonight just to be on the safe side.