Candy Always Makes It Better

Today was a much better day than yesterday. No big problems were solved but I woke up feeling refreshed this morning and ready to push forward. It was a beautiful day out today and this evening The Hulk and I were on a float in a parade for my job. We had a great time. Here are some pictures of our float. The weather was beautiful and it was so nice to be outside. The kids had a blast and so did us grown ups.




The Hulk really had a great time because he got his first piece of candy! He has never had candy before but the big kids on the float had suckers and gave him one. He cracked me up with that thing. He devoured it in about 4 minutes and then was like a crazy man trying to get another one. He ended up being one sticky hot adorable mess when all was said and done. But boy was he a happy sticky man! He makes my heart so happy.





Clickin Mama

Overwhelmed

Okay folks this girl has to vent a little. I'm feeling so very overwhelmed! I don't want to have a pity party but I really think I'll feel better if I just get all this out and try to put it in perspective a little bit. I just feel like I have a lot on my plate and I'm really having a hard time prioritizing and coming up with a plan to manage. So after your read through this if you have advice please share it. I'm all ears. These are the things I have on my plate that I can't seem to balance.

Work... I like my 40 hour a week job but I don't make anywhere near enough money to get all the bills paid. So that is obviously bothersome. I'm short close to $500 a month if I were to just live off of my work salary. And there are some other stressors about my job that weigh on me but I'm not really going to get into that here...

Photography Business.... Since I don't make enough at Job # 1 I am working right around 20 hours a week at my own photography business. Feel free to check it out and schedule a session. I love taking pictures, editing pictures, and all the other aspects of my business. But I hate that it is taking up so much of my time. I wish that I could just take pictures and not mess with a "real" job.

Diabetes... My diabetes kicks my ass. I won't lie most days I feel horrible. Usually by 3:00 in the afternoon I'm praying that I make it through the day at work. And when I go to bed at night I pray that God will let me wake up. I'm not well and I know that! That terrifies me. And I've been trying really really hard to get it under control. I have started using sparkpeople to track my food and carb count, I check my blood sugar like I'm supposed to and take my meds as prescribed. I did have one day this week where my blood sugar was normal so I'm making progress but it's a lot to keep up with. Trying to fit in the time to cook like I need to and work out while working 60 hours a week and caring for The Hulk is a lot to manage.

So in trying to balance those things there are lots and lots of things not getting done. My yard is a mess and I'm actually embarassed by it. The house is clean but not clean the way I want it. Even with working both jobs and writing for eHow I still don't make enough money. Since we had big medical bills this month I honestly don't even know how I'm paying the house payment this month and it's due on the
1st! How scary is that....

I'm just at the point where I don't know what to do. A huge part of me wants to throw in the towel and say screw this all and just curl up in a ball and quit. Then the other part of me says no somehow I'll figure this out. Somehow I'll come up with a plan. I always do. I keep praying that God will guide me, show me how to handle this, or provide a different job opportunity that pays more. I'm just tired and I don't feel good and I wish it was different...

So sorry I'm a downer. I just had to get it out... I know that tomorrow will be better. Well I think tomorrow will be better...

Clickin Mama

Wonderful One

The Hulk is 16 months old now! Someone please tell me how this is possible. It's flying by in the blink of an eye! This mama doesn't seem to be able to keep up with a baby book or a scrap book or any of those things. So the blog is it for this baby. So with that in mind here are a few tidbits about this guy at month 16 just so I never forget!

The Hulk loves to look out the door or the windows and watch what is going on outside. In fact he likes to try and open the doors now and escape!

If the lawn guy is here mowing he jumps at the door and screams until I take him outside to watch. He always gets a complimentary ride on the mower from Brian too.

The Hulk still is a wonderful eater though he has identified a few things that aren't his favorite. Carrots get pushed to the side and fed to the dog. And if I give him craisins and raisins at the same time he eats all the craisins first. Cracks me up. He still loves all other veggies, millet, humus, most fruits, and bananas!

The Hulk still waddles when he walks but can now squat down and pick something up without falling over.

He can stack 4 blocks and now pushes his trucks and cars along the floor complete with sound effects.

Dance party time is his favorite activity and he of course still loves those books.

He says the following words or some variation of them that only I and a few others understand...mama, lena, dog dog, bath, duck, quack, moo, ball, book, banana, noni (for Liz), no no, milk, poop, out, go, and block.

If you ask him what sound a monster makes he will make a roaring sound. Makes me laugh every time.

Month 16 has proven to me that children are amazing! This is by far my favorite stage so far. I love exploring the world again through his eyes. And I love that he has such a great sense of humor. He is turning into a big boy and a fun boy! What a blessing!!!

Clickin Mama

So Big

My niece Kerrington is getting so big! It's hard to believe that she started out so tiny and in the NICU! She has just grown and grown and now you would never know she was a preemie. She is almost 9 months old now and is just a mover and a shaker. She crawls all over and sits up on her own. She is a good little eater and can even hang with the big kids. Having Mattie and The Hulk around her made her toughen up real quick. She really is a sweet happy little baby girl. Here is some proof!

Chances Are....

... if you drive by our house you will see a dog in picture window

... if the bathroom door is left open The Hulk is trying to get in the bathtub

... if you are sitting in my house you will hear a train go by every 20-30 minutes

... if I'm cooking a toddler is screaming for attention

... if music is playing The Hulk and I are dancing

... if you can't find something The Hulk has probably hidden it for you

... if I pick up my purse or keys The Hulk heads for the door

... if a cat walks by the yard the dog will be barking like crazy

... if I have a free minute I'm blogging or editing pictures

... if I am feeling happy it's because I've had time with my family

Clickin Mama

Not Me Monday!

I can tell you with almost 100% certainty that this week I did NOT allow my child to do the following things just to keep him occupied long enough for me to go to the bathroom, prepare a meal, eat a meal, edit photographs for work, or take a shower..

Like I said there is NO WAY my boy watched a sesame street DVD, colored on himself with highlighter, wrapped his leg up with scotch tape, removed everything from the kitchen pantry, or ate cheese-its off the floor after he dumped them out of his diaper bag.

I did NOT have to dig a seashell out of the toilet or save a rubber ducky from certain demise from a near flushing incident.

I did NOT in an effort to avoid being late to work feed The Hulk his banana in the car while driving. I did NOT just put him in the car in only a diaper so I could quickly wipe him off when we arrived a daycare and dress him. I did NOT rejoice when I walked into work at 8:02 only 2 minutes late!!!

I did NOT strip the boy down naked and let him play in soap and water while I cleaned the grout on the kitchen floor. I did NOT give him two tooth brushes and let him scrub away like mom because he seemed to think it fun. It did NOT cross my mind that this could be a violation of child labor laws.

I did NOT attempt to dye my hair red and have it end up turning purple. I did NOT just leave it purple because I refuse to spend anymore money on hair dye. I am NOT enjoying my purple head status at all and I do NOT find it oddly fun to have purple hair.

So what did you NOT do this week?????

Clickin Mama

Happy Birthday Dad

Today is my Dad's birthday! We weren't able to be with him today since South Carolina is quite a ways from Kansas. Even though we weren't with him in person we thought about him a lot and we sent him some special things to open today. So Dad know that The Hulk and I love you and miss you!




Clickin Mama

Slow Down

The Hulk has turned into quite the walker lately. And since he is doing so well I tend to let him walk rather than carry him as much as possible. Oh how I love holding the hand of a toddling little boy. While he is walking he surely is not a speed walker. In fact it is quite a meandering pace that he sets. This led my sister last weekend to laugh and ask if I had just gotten used to walking so slow. Which made me pause and think. And in all actuality this hasn't taught me to walk slow it's taught me to slow down. And not just slow down my pace but slow down life.

The lessons children can teach us. The Hulk walks slowly because he is so busy checking everything out. There is not a flower, a speck of dirt, a person, or a blade of grass that goes unnoticed. And those things aren't only noticed. Most often they are mesmerizing adventure. Everything is a joy to The Hulk. In fact this evening The Hulk laid in the yard and studied this one blade of grass for a good 15 minutes. He took it in, tasted it, turned it, twisted it, tore it, and was transfixed by a simple blade of grass!









So my question is when was the last time we basked in the joy of grass or other simple pleasures? When did we really take the time to look at and enjoy the everyday things? And when was it that we decided we didn't have time? So The Hulk I'm so very glad walking slow makes you happy. And I'm so glad you taught your mama to slow down!




Clickin Mama

Where Is She

I rarely post about Katie, The Hulk' first mom. Not because she isn't a part of our lives but because I am hesitant to share that story. I never want to put words in The Hulk' mouth or Katie's about their adoption story. I can only tell my version or my story. But Katie is such a large part of our lives while also being absent from them. Not a day goes by that she doesn't cross my mind or stir in my heart. When The Hulk laughs or snuggles into me close I can't help but have her in my mind. How can you not think of the woman that gave you such a sweet child.

We also talk about Katie a lot. I have pictures of her displayed in the house. I want The Hulk to recognize her and know her. I want him to know what a strong and special woman she is. But lately we haven't actually talked to Katie. In fact I don't know where she is. And that weighs very heavy on my heart. I know she is struggling, has been struggling with things I won't go into here. But we have always been able to track her down and touch base. But it's been almost 8 weeks now with no contact. All of my usual resources for finding her haven't worked and I won't lie I'm worried about her.

It's strange to feel so connected to someone yet not know where they are. I pray that Katie will find us again soon. Reconnect and let us know she is okay. I miss her, I worry about her, and I need her in a way few others can understand. So if you have the time to say a little prayer for our Katie please do. We just want her to be safe and happy and healthy. Oh and we want her to come hang out again soon!

Clickin Mama

Things I Do

Things I Do When I Can't Sleep

1. Blog
2. Laundry
3. Facebook
4. Edit Pictures
5. Read
6. Play with the dog
7. Listen to the neighbors fight
8. Organize children's books
9. Make chicken salad
10. Clean the tile in the kitchen
11. Google odd terms
12. Wish I was asleep!

What do you do when you can't sleep? What tricks do you use to fall asleep? Could you come over and knock me out so I will sleep????

Clickin Mama

Fun On The Farm...

This weekend I took senior pictures for a young man from my church. I have known him since he was born and I'm just sick at the thought that he is actually a senior! Where does the time go??? I used to wait for church to be over so I could hold him afterwards. And now my son thinks he is the coolest cowboy! He was an adorable baby boy and now he is a handsome and kind young adult. His mama raised a good boy! Here are a few of his pics!







Clickin Mama

Not Me Monday!

Well I can promise you that I did NOT think this was the longest week in history. It drug by but then the weekend flew by! I do NOT wish that weekends were five days long!!!

I did NOT have a blast taking Senior pictures of a young man at his parents farm! I did NOT take my baby with me to let him play with all the animals. I did NOT laugh like crazy as he attempted riding a goat, petting sheep, or mauling kittens. I do NOT find such joy in watching him discover new things.

I did NOT spend a good part of my Sunday purging more things from this house. I'm NOT overwhelmed at all by the clutter and obsessed with getting rid of it.

I am NOT having problems sleeping. I did NOT wake up at 4:00 this morning and stay up. I did NOT edit photos and write this post rather than sleep. NEVER!

I did NOT apply for more jobs in Tulsa. I do NOT feel drawn to moving there at all. I do NOT spend hours praying each week for God to guide me in the right direction. I'm NOT terrified by the idea of moving.

I did NOT have a dream that I dressed The Hulk in a tutu and took him to a carnival like that.

I did NOT have a lentil covered floor yesterday. Some little boy did NOT tear open a bag of lentils and fling them about.

I am NOT going to stop writing this post to attempt going back to sleep for a bit.

Clickin Mama

A Splash Of Fun

We were really desperate for a little fun around here. Things have been too boring! But this mama is broke so we had to find some fun on a budget! And that we did! We went to Wichita to see Heather and found lots of free and very cheap fun. We walked around downtown Wichita and stumbled upon a great farmers market with live music and an unbelievable number of twin children. Seriously one lady had two sets of twins that were 15 months apart! And then there was another set of identical little girls. ADORABLE!!!

We had a lovely lunch at Old Chicago and then found a free spray park that we let The Hulk have a splash of fun in. He wasn't too sure what to think. He was a bit overwhelmed by all the random sprays of water but we had fun watching him try to figure it out. But when he began to make this pathetic shivering sound Aunt Heather saved him from the water and we got him all changed and dry and headed to the zoo.

Originally we weren't going to the zoo because we are broke and didn't want to spend that much. But lucky us one of Heather's coworkers let her in on a little secret. A radio station in town was having a listener appreciation event and if you picked up tickets from them you could get into the zoo for $2.00! YAHOO!!!! So we were thrilled with that... Fun Fun Day!

Here are a few pics from the spray park. I don't have the zoo pics edited yet.







Clickin Mama

Say What You Mean

My mom used to have this saying... "Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't be mean when you say it." Now that I'm a mother I'm really beginning to learn how important it is to say what you mean! See this is how it all went down.

I said to The Hulk

"No hands in the dog bowls!".

What I should have said was "No hands, no spatulas, no anything goes in the dog bowls!!!"

Once I made myself completely clear the little man took his spatula and high tailed it out of there!

Not Into It

Man I really haven't been into blogging lately. It's not that I'm down or that I'm so busy I can't. I just haven't really had much to say. I know that alone is shocking! Not much is going on around here worth blogging about. Things are really kinda blah right now. Nothing great but nothing horrible either. We are just moving along which I suppose is good. It makes me antsy though. I'm ready for some excitement or a change or something. I don't handle boring old life very well. I'm used to a little more action I guess....

Clickin Mama

eHow

Okay I have a little addiction to eHow! I started writing eHow articles when I was off work. I thought I'd write a few and make a little money. Then when I started seeing the money add up I thought I'd write a few more. The next thing I knew I set a goal to write 500 how to articles! That's a lot of articles and hopefully a reasonable amount of money. So with that goal in my head I've been writing eHow articles whenever I have a spare moment.

And today I hit the half way point! I wrote article number 250! You can view it here, How to find a Mesothelioma support group! I published my first eHow article on January 5th 2009 so that means it took me right at 6 months to get to 250 articles. I don't think that's to bad considering I have a full time job now, a baby, and a photography business.

So I had to share my excitment with you all! I love eHow and I love that I'm halfway to my goal!!!

Clickin Mama

Geocaching

Okay so you know that I got the GPS for my birthday from Dad and Cricket. While my girlie GPS guide and I still argue from time to time she is for the most part very helpful. I haven't ended up horrible lost since having her so that's a big improvement. I knew she would be helpful but I had no idea how much fun she would be!

Now that I have the GPS The Hulk and I have been going geocaching. Have any of you done this before? I am hooked! It is free and it's lots of fun. It gets us out of the house and walking but each time is different and The Hulk just loves our outdoor adventures. So far we have only found 4 caches but it's been lots of fun. We are going to try and find some more this weekend.

I've been using this site to pick our hunts. So fun and a great activity to do with kids! Try it out and let me know what ya think!

Clickin Mama

Not Me Monday!

Well I did NOT haul so much stuff out of this house this weekend that my whole body aches. I am NOT worn out and wish I had another day off to recuperate from my crazy cleaning, hauling, freak show of a weekend!

I did NOT have a wild dance party in the living room with The Hulk yesterday to take a break from the cleaning. After dancing like a fool for about 10 minutes I did NOT look up and see four of the neighbor kids staring at me through the window.

My toddler completely understands about the need for privacy and he has appropriate boundaries. So I did NOT pee two times this week with a crying little boy sitting on my lap!

I do NOT have mice in my house! And if I happened to have mice in my house and set traps to catch them I would NOT call someone else to come empty the traps. I'm braver than that!

I did NOT find some of my own childhood toys this weekend. I did NOT sit down with The Hulk to play with them and get a little emotional remembering my mom doing the same thing with me.

I did NOT use 7 different gift cards at Wal-Mart this week to pay for my purchases. I did NOT have a balance of .35 on one of the cards. I did NOT find a little bit of pleasure in the way the cashier was quietly fuming as I swiped card after card.

Clickin Mama

Cute Family

I took pictures of this cute family last weekend. They happen to be my adorable relatives! Brian is my cousin and Rachel is his wife. Their three adorable children blow my mind. How they have gotten so big so fast is beyond me. Time just flies by. It doesn't seem like that long ago that they were babies and now they haul my little guy around and entertain him! All three of the kids are great with The Hulk. Wyatt is so responsible and gentle with him. Parker is so silly and makes The Hulk laugh so hard he can hardly catch his breath. And sweet Miss Molly is the ultimate entertainer. She kept The Hulk busy playing and followed him everywhere. Such wonderful children! Good job Brian and Rachel! They are raising three very kind children!

The Big Purge

I am not sure what exactly pushed me over the edge. It could have been stepping on a little person toy, or maybe it was the toy semi truck that left a nice gash in my foot. But looking back it may have been when I tried to close the hall closet door and it wouldn't shut that I started teetering on the edge. But this morning when I opened The Hulk' closet and had to cram his clean clothes in I fell of the edge! I just wanted to scream! This house was and still is too full!

So begins the great big purge! The toys have been sorted and several bags removed. Both The Hulk and I have only clothes that fit hanging in our closets and filling our dresser drawers. I took 5 HUGE Rubbermaid tubs of clothes to the shop for the next garage sale. After The Hulk went to bed I actually tried on every piece of clothing I own. If it didn't fit properly or if I don't love it goodbye it went! And that hall closet door not only shuts there are now two shelves in it with NOTHING on them!!! Praise Jesus my house is getting bigger.

We are going to have one heck of a garage sale in the fall. Until then I'm going to keep purging. And no more buying! Nothing but necessities are coming into this house for the next three months. That is the goal! The amount of "stuff" we have is absurd and it's going to stop. I'm not living like this anymore. I'm sick of being a slave to all this material crap!

Clickin Mama

What Up

What's up with you? What's up with us? The computer is finally home and back in working order. Complete with a new external hard drive! Hopefully no more computer problems for awhile! What a pain in the butt!

Now that the computer is home I've been getting pictures edited. I've also been getting caught up on my email. It's crazy how much email a person can get in just a week. You would think that while I was without the computer I would have done some special projects around the house or weeded the flower bed or something else productive. But no not so my friends. I've spent time doing a whole lot of nothing. I watched the movie He's Just Not Into You and laughed like crazy. That's been my big accomplishment of the week. Nice huh?!?

Clickin Mama

Good News... Bad News...

Bad News... My regular computer is broken and in the shop!

Good News... My laptop is working well enough to use the Internet!

Bad News... The repairs to my other computer are going to cost a small fortune!

Good News... They were able to recover all 953,742 pictures off my hard drive! (Yes that is the ACTUAL number of pictures on my computer!)

Bad News... It will take another few days to get my computer back!

Good News... While I wait for the computer to come back I get to browse and share old pictures with you all that are stored on my laptop. Pictures like those below!






Clickin Mama

Not Me Monday!

This was such a great week! With the holiday and nice trip out of town I had lots of fun and really enjoyed myself and our time away. So since it was such a wonderful week I can promise you that I did NOT at any point in time consider placing duct tape over my screaming child's mouth! I did NOT think that he was trying to get the worlds record for the whiniest kid in the world! And I did NOT consider selling him to the highest bidder. Nope NEVER!!!

I also did NOT eat my weight in junk food that was incredibly delicious. I did NOT eat cheese cake, chocolate pie, and drink a Strawberry Daiquiri all in the same day!

I also did NOT get a little ticked off at Julie my GPS guide for giving me strange directions. I did NOT consider throwing her out the car window with the screaming baby.

And I did NOT consider calling in quits to work and just living forever in my cousin Chuck's amazing house. I did NOT dread the idea of coming back home to the grind. I did NOT really enjoy their comfortable beds, beautiful showers, balcony, granite counter tops, and delightful lab so much that I wondered if they would adopt me and let me live with them forever.

And since I got home from Tulsa I have NOT looked online for jobs there that I'm qualified for. I would NOT consider moving.

So what did you NOT do this week?

Clickin Mama

Happy 4th!

I hope that you all had a wonderful Fourth of July Holiday! We sure did. We packed up and headed to Tulsa on Thursday for some family fun! We had a great time with my aunts and cousins. We went swimming, had a BBQ, played and just had a nice relaxing time. I even made a get away to Kohl's to shop childless for a bit one evening. And I did a photo shoot with my cousin Brian's family too! Fun yet productive! My favorite kind of weekend.

It was so nice that I won't even mention the screaming and crying that my child did. Or the whining. Or the fit throwing. I'll leave that for another time. Just know for certain that despite any of those things we still had an absolutely wonderful time!!!

Clickin Mama

Example of Love

Last weekend we went to a family reunion. I'll be honest those aren't always my favorite functions to attend. I know, I know we are only supposed to think those things and not say them. Throw stones if you want, at least I'm honest. But the big perk of the event for me was getting to see my Aunt Jane and Uncle Steve. And I got to snap a few pictures of them which makes it even better!

Steve and Jane have been married a long long time. I think it's 31 or 32 years. That doesn't happen much anymore and it just really impresses me. They are still really fun and happy and in love and I admire that so much! Someday if I ever do get married that's how I want it to be. I know marriage is never perfect but I think there is a way to stay in love and honor and respect one another. They are proof of that!

Love you two!

Clickin Mama