Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Single or Alone

Am I really a single mother or am I just a mom that is alone? Some days I'm just not sure. Today was one of those days. When I think of myself as a single mom I picture it as a choice. I am choosing to raise this beautiful boy on my own. And most days that choice is right for us. Most days I want nothing else but to be his mom and not share him with anyone.

And then there are days like today that I just feel like I'm alone on this parenting ship that is floating down river fast without a single oar. On those days I wish I had a little help. It's the things that I think most two parent households take for granted that I wish I had some help with. And when I hear people complain about their spouse not doing anything to help I just wanna slap them. Seriously? Nothing to help. Come on now. Come visit my house and tell me he is doing nothing!

I'd love to have another adult just present in the house after The Hulk is sleeping so I could go on a walk alone or make a quick trip to the grocery store. Or how about someone else to say no and redirect him one time out of the 874 times that needs to be done each day. Or here this is a good one. Maybe someone else could take a day off work when he is sick. Or even better yet maybe just maybe a second set of hands would be helpful to do all the other stuff that needs done while I do the kid stuff. Maybe they could pay the bills, or empty the trash, or answer the phone, or change the sheets that have been peed on.

You are probably wondering why I'm ranting about this. And it's simple. I have heard one to many married or in a relationship women say they feel alone. I'm sick of it! I don't want to hear it anymore. And the next woman that says it to me is getting an ear full! You wanna feel alone? Have your baby have a seizure in the middle of the night. Imagine you are terrified, don't know what is wrong with him, and can't help him. Then imagine you turn to call for your husband for help, or to lean on, or to call 911 for you. And then imagine he isn't there. Now that is alone!

Enough said!

Clickin Mama


Melba said...

Hugs, Girl...I can't imagine doing it all alone and my hat goes off to you in a big way! I think the next person who says something negative about their spouse to you deserves the ear full. It's really easy to take things for granted in this life, and I try not to do that as much as possible.

Thanks for the reminder, and good luck finding your oar!


Kristin said...

I feel your pain...and am right there with you. Most of the times it is awesome but there are so many times when I wish I had some help. I do have my family nearby, and they help on occasion but not the same as having a "partner". I am in a relationship but we rarely see each other and it is more of a me/you relationship than an "us" relationship.

Although I don't know what it is like to have a sick child, I am sure that is very scary.

If you need to talk, shoot me an e-mail.

Good luck and just give your little man lotsa hugs when times get rough.