Monday, September 7, 2009

The Truth About Boys

I used to think that I knew some stuff about boys. And then I had a boy. And now I know a lot more about boys then I ever thought I would. But a lot of my friends have girls and no boys. I can't imagine a house without a boy in it now that I have one. But to help those folks out that don't seem to know the whole truth about boys I'll share a few of my most prized nuggets of information.

  • Boys are born obsessed with their penis. I thought this started when boys were older but it actually happens as soon as they exit the womb. For some reason boys are convinced that a penis snatcher exists and they must frequently check to make sure their penis is still attached to their body!
  • The ability to make truck sounds and gun noises is not learned it is genetically engineered into their very beings. My boy has never heard a gun shot and has never seen a video or me open fire on a field of animals or people. However, he can now use blocks as guns. He also one day just began to make truck sounds out of the blue. This must be implanted in them and then just appears around 18 months of age.
  • Again I always thought that as boys got older the selective hearing began. But no this also begins as soon as they enter the world. There are many times throughout the day that I could use a bullhorn to call my child back to me or ask him to pick up something and you would think that he was deaf. But no his ears work wonderfully well when he wants them too.
  • I also firmly believe that boys are born with an adoration of their mothers. There is something about a boy hug that just melts your very being. I think it is the fact that they can be in the middle of using their fake guns to slaughter all of their little people animals and then they catch a glimpse of you and soften long enough to pat you gently or hug you tightly. They can be non listening penis players with weapons but they also are such kind and gentle souls. They are just amazing little beings!

So that's the truth about boys as I know it. Like I said I can't imagine my house with my noisy, destructive, rough housing, loving, wild, funny, silly, wonderful boy!

Clickin Mama


Melba said...

Great post! As the new mommy of a boy I couldn't agree more...

Janis said...

Awesome post...I do have to say the mention of the selective hearing is alive and well in girls too. I can yell for Bekah to come here and she will just be in her own lala land but if I whisper the words "ice cream cone" or "cookie" she is there in two seconds flat....Silly kids! Where we ever like that? lol

Have a great week!

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

Great post! Boys are the best! I thought I could some how shield my son from guns but he started making anything a gun all on his own. I really do think it is something hard wired in their head or something!