Dream

I had one weird dream last night. I dreamed about my mom. She has been dead for 2 1/2 years now and I this is only the 2nd dream I've had with her in it. I always want to dream of her but very rarely do. So last night it finally happened.

In my dream I had laid down with The Hulk and we were napping. When we woke up I walked out of my room and down the hall. I turned into the kitchen and there my mom was. Just standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes. I instantly started to yell at her in my dream and started crying. I yelled at her for being away and letting me think she was dead. But the whole time I was yelling at her I was also crying because I was glad to see her.

She just looked at me like I was nuts. And she said to me, "Oh Clickin Mama, just quit it. Don't you know I didn't want to leave you." And then I was awake. And I was crying for real. My pillow was soaked with tears. So then I spent the other half of the night awake trying to analyze my dream. And I can't figure out why I didn't say more to her in my dream. Why I didn't hug her or hand her The Hulk. Or tell her I loved her. How can a dream mess with your head so much. Dreaming of her was supposed to help me feel better but instead I feel like it was my chance to see her and I screwed it up. So stupid! Our minds play horrible tricks on us don't they!

Clickin Mama